Freedom Friday: His Goodness

Folks, I have a Freedom Friday post brewing for you.

But we've had to leave town suddenly to be with a loved one who is facing the end of life.

And my kids had food dye for the 1st time in a while, and my 2 year-old is literally bouncing off the walls, screaming, "It's fun time!" over and over, swinging from the long curtains in this extended stay suite, and riding down the table leg as if it's a fire pole.

I'm not kidding.

I just pray for you that you'd know how good God is. So often I doubt His goodness, and yet He is faithful to His promises.

I finished the marathon.  Barely.

For the kids at Happy Horizons Children's Ranch.

And I'm learning to let go of someone I love so dearly and feel I desperately need.  Jesus is waiting for him.

I am so thankful and so heartbroken.  And yet, God is faithful.  He's amazing.

Be back soon. I promise :)

Freedom Friday: For The Kids

I need your help, readers.

We often talk about freedom in this blog in terms of being free from metaphorical chains of bondage.  Or the freedom to be who God created us to be.

There are other kinds of freedom and other kinds of bondage.

It is believed that there are currently 21 million people worldwide caught in slavery (forced labor). Approximately 50% of trafficking victims are children, most of whom are caught in sex slavery.

Tomorrow, I will run 26.2 miles for those who can't speak for themselves.

Will you join me?  

You can help by praying.  I have pain in my right leg due to what is likely tendonitis.  I also have been having some shin pain this week.  I am just, in general, not a natural when it comes to running.

The kids need your prayers, too.

I am running for the kids.  For those still caught in sex trafficking and those trying to climb their way out.

I will share more on Monday.  But pray for us. And pray about giving.  Don't just look at your finances or circumstances and decide you're not able to give.  Pray.  

This is a general admonition, even if I weren't fundraising.  So often we wait until we have extra in order to give, but don't stop to pray as to how God would have us respond. I do it as well.  

And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the people were putting into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent. Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

This widow did not wait; she gave.

The God I love and serve didn't wait until He had extra to give extravagantly.  

He gave His Only.

This is not to say we should enter into giving lightly.  We need to hear God speak to our hearts, but our hearts need to first ask and then be willing to respond.

I've responded to God's call, to give of my time, money and physical resources to run for those who can't.

Thank you for your prayers.

Lord, help me to give extravagantly this weekend, as You did when You sent Your Only Son to earth.  Help me to run the race You've set before.  Thank You that Your power is made perfect when I have nothing to give. Be the Sustainer that I know You are.  Move in the hearts of many, that the hearts of these little children would have the opportunity for You to heal them.  Jesus, Your Name is power. You are mighty.  In Your wonderful name I pray, Jesus, Amen.

For The Kids

My recent personal best at the Zooma Half Marathon

Freedom Friday: The Power of Service

My 4 year-old came to me recently and excitedly shared about his prayer life.

He said, "Mommy, when I wake up in the morning, I pray to God that......"

OK. I'm pausing in the story to say I was sure he was going to share he had been praying for a loved one's health, or the end to world hunger. Actually, no, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to say any of those things. Let's get back to the story.

"Mommy, when I wake up in the morning, I pray to God that I would see a ghost!"

After a discussion where he reassured me he knew ghosts aren't real, I asked if he was praying about anything else.

"That I'd have lots and lots of video games."

Well. There you have it.

I of course posted on Facebook to ask how to teach gratitude, compassion and social awareness to small kids. I got a lot of reassurances that his behavior is age-appropriate, we're already doing some good things, and also some concrete suggestions. It brought to mind some of the ways we served when I was a child, the most memorable being at the soup kitchen.



You may be asking, what does this have to do with freedom?

We know that Jesus came to serve. "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 (NLT)

Jesus served by laying down His whole self, both in life and death. How does following His example help us learn to walk in freedom?

1. Service helps us to love.
If you are still deep in the thick of your battle with life-controlling issues, you may think it silly or even inappropriate for you to consider working in service, especially to the church. There are many possibilities and places you could serve, however. Does your church provide coffee and snacks after service? Offer to bake or help with clean-up. What sort of outreaches are happening in your community? Assist at a food pantry.

"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Galatians 5:13-14

In a mystery we can't fully understand, when we serve others we are serving Jesus Himself.

“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’" Matthew 25:37-40

Service helps us to love. It helps us to love ourselves, to love God and to love others.

2. Service helps us recognize our gifts.
" God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." 1 Peter 4:10 (NLT)

I heard a speaker once say that if you don't know how God is gifted you, or where He's calling you to serve, just try something. Ask the person in charge of greeting newcomers if you can try it one Sunday. Offer to sit in on a kid's Sunday school class. Fold bulletins. Find something that seems interesting to you, or where there is a need, and commit to serving there for a period of time. If it's not a good fit, ask the leadership of that ministry where you have strengths and where else you might consider serving.

3. Service requires God's strength.
The verse from 1 Peter 4 quoted above continues, "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ." (NIV1984)

Serving requires God's strength. You won't always feel like getting out of bed early on a Sunday to set up chairs. Ask God to help you. Service is another way to grow in intimacy with God, as you ask Him not only for His strength, but His grace in empowering you to be a blessing to others.

4. Service gives us perspective.
My favorite answer to my Facebook question was from my friend who lives with her family in Guatemala. How do you teach children empathy and social awareness? She simply wrote, "Move here."

Service helps us to get our eyes off our own struggles for a moment. It reminds us that the whole world is struggling and suffering in some way. On the other hand, do not fall into the trap of shaming yourself about the time and money you have spent on your recovery. There is a time and a place for that as well. But those problem that seem so big and overwhelming can be put into perspective when we come face to face with the suffering of others.

This past week on Mother's Day, one of the pastors at church shared about his mother not eating for days to ensure she had enough food to feed her children. Still, the kids often ate once a day. Even in the most trying times, I could likely feed my children for a month with what I have on hand. Imagining opening the cabinets to find nothing for my kids is one of the most heartbreaking things I could imagine.

You might also consider going on a humanitarian missions trip with your church or other outreach, as my friend suggested in her "Move here" comment. Others agreed that nothing gives you perspective like seeing how the truly poor live, or walking through the devastation caused by a natural disaster.

In what way could be serve someone today?

Monday Morning Meditation: Remind God of His Promises

Good morning, Living Unveiled readers! Welcome to our first full installment of Monday Morning Meditation.

Let's dive right in.

Psalm 138:2 says:

I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed
by all the honor of your name.

His promises are backed by all the honor of His name.

My kids watch TV almost every weekday from 3-4. Since they can't tell time, they may periodically ask me about the shows, and if we will be home at that time. When they wake from nap, they ask if they woke up in time to watch their shows.

In other words, they have no trouble reminding me about the fact that I said they could watch TV because they naturally take me at my word.

Is that how we treat God's promises, which this psalm says are backed by all the honor of His name?

Rather, how often do we go timidly before God, as if we somehow have to beg Him to keep His Word? Or we don't even believe His promises at all, or don't live in a way that reflects that they are for us, His children?

This is certainly something I've struggled with. Reminding God of His promises almost feels presumptuous. First of all, doesn't He already know them? Second, isn't it kind of forward and demanding?

I'm reminded of Luke 18 & the example of the persistent widow. Or Matthew 7, where Jesus commands that we "keep on asking."

As I read through the Old Testament, I cannot help but see the examples of people, including prophets, kings and ordinary folks, who repeatedly reminded God of His Word and what He said He would do.

His promises for us include love, acceptance, hope, prosperity, sustenance, security, hope, protection, freedom, abundant life, and did I mention hope? Jeremiah 29 says God's plans for us with give us a future and a hope.

As you read the Bible this week, notice who God says He is, and what He has said He will do. Ask God to breathe life into His Word, and listen as He makes it come alive in you.

Remind Him of His promises. They are backed by all the honor of His name.

Note to readers: I am currently reading the Life Recovery Bible. This Bible's NLT seems to have slight differences there when compared to the NLT at Biblegateway.com.

Freedom Friday: Learning Contentment

Most babies are born content. (Not all. Ask my first!)

My 2nd son was the most peaceful baby I had ever met. He seemed completely unaware of any disruption around him. Sometimes, I'd put him down in his bassinet to do something, and he'd spontaneously fall asleep.

He didn't have to learn to be content. He didn't have to study to become that way. He just was.

Unfortunately, as we go through life, we seem to unlearn contentment. Our trust fades. We become jaded. The cares of the world seem overwhelming and burdensome. We take them on ourselves as a burden we think we should be able to carry.

I have this excerpt of Philippians 4 by my desk on my office wall.

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

If you would like to see the passage with clickable links to the Greek words, here it is.

After staring at this passage for quite some time one day, I noticed something: Paul said, "I have learned to be content." It wasn't something that just came naturally to him.

The Greek word that is translated "content" in verse 11, Autarkes, is not used anywhere else in the Bible. Here are some of its meanings:

sufficient for one's self, strong enough or processing enough to need no aid or support
independent of external circumstances
contented with one's lot, with one's means, though the slenderest

Paul goes on to say that he has "learned the secret" of being hungry or full, having abundance or want. The Greek word used there, Mueo, translated as "learned the secret" is also not used anywhere else in the Bible. It means:

to initiate into the mysteries
to teach fully, instruct
to accustom one to a thing
to give one an intimate acquaintance with a thing

To become instructed in. To become intimately acquainted with. To learn, independent of external circumstances, the mystery of contentment.

How are some ways we can learn to be content, no matter the circumstances?

1. Rest. Stop striving. Stop trying to fix everything. Hand it over to God. And then hand it over again. Let Him give you strength, as the passage recommends.

A month or two ago, God spoke to me and said, "If the burden is too heavy, then it's not yours to carry." Stop "should-ing" on yourself, and start resting in God, allowing Him to speak into your life and teach you to be content.

2. Pray. Something I've realized is that being content in all circumstances does not mean we don't pray for our circumstances to change. In fact, earlier in chapter 4 of Philippians, Paul commands, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It simply means we're content even if they don't.

As the Greek implies, contentment is based on the internal, not the external. This is a lesson I'm still learning. It's Christ in me, strengthening me, working in me, changing me, that is the source of my contentment. And yet we're commanded to ask & keep on asking, like the persistent widow in Luke 18. I need to find that balance between acceptance and prayerful request.

3. Trust. Learning contentment means we choose to trust God, even if our circumstances don't change. It means we actively choose to trust that He is good, He is faithful, and He will show up. As Paul says later in chapter 4 to the church in Philippi, "my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

In what areas of your life could you use some contentment today? How is God wanting to teach you contentment, and in what areas is God waiting for you to ask for His help?

Freedom Friday: You Are God's Favorite, Part 1

I tell my kids all the time that they are my favorite.

One is my favorite Bear, the other is my favorite toddler. One is my favorite 4 year-old, and the other is my favorite fuzzy head.

Or I just say it plain, "You are my favorite!!"

Because they both are.

I love the way they talk, the things the say, even the ways they get sassy with me. I like the sounds they make (for the most part!), the silly games they make up & play, and the way they walk. I love seeing how they play at the park, taking them to the library, watching the toys they gravitate toward, and the shows they like to watch.

I love to tell them: "You are my favorite!"

Later they may ask, "How can we both be your favorite? Doesn't 'favorite' imply that there can only be one?"

What a great question!

A long time ago, I wrote a teaching entitled, "You Are God's Favorite: Living in the Reality of God's Fierce Tenderness". I thought this was a great time, given the recent posts about being God's child, to pull out that teaching and re-visit it for this blog.

1 John 3:1 says "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

John, the writer of the above, was one of the 3 disciples closest to Jesus, one of His intimate friends. As I share in the post, "Is Having One Best Friend Biblical?", Jesus did not have a single best friend; He had 3 intimate friends. John was one of these 3.

From what we know, John didn't begin writing about his experiences with Jesus until very late in his life, as historians believe he wrote his gospel and letters over 50 years after Jesus died.

The Gospel of John was written with perspective. He had decades of reflecting on Jesus, His time on earth, and what the Christian walk was about. I believe it was because of this perspective that in his gospel, John referred to himself as "The Disciple whom Jesus Loved".


"One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved" by Ary Scheffer

Some people feel that this is just a prideful statement for John to make. Really? You are the disciple whom Jesus loved?

I don't hear it that way at all.

John was intimately familiar with the special place that Jesus had in His heart for all believers. John was the disciple who had literally rested his head against God’s heart at the Last Supper when he leaned on Jesus's chest. Thus, John did not define himself solely as a disciple, or an apostle, an evangelist, or a writer of truths about Jesus - he didn't even call Himself by name in the above mentioned passage (a very important thing during that time).

Instead, he based his entire identity on the fact that he was loved by God.

I'm sometimes asked to define myself with labels. I am Brenna, I simply respond.

I used to call myself a lesbian-identified bisexual. It was important to me that people got that label right.

I also called myself anorexic, or that I "have an eating disorder", though the eating disorder I actually had, ED-NOS, did not exist at the time.

When I was in a relationship with a married woman, it was very important to me (and her) that I be referred to as "her wife".

Now people want to know: are you gay? Bisexual? Straight? Post-gay? Ex-gay? Do you have an eating disorder? Are you fully recovered or still in recovery?

I'm with Paul when he says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

All the former labels that were so important to me no longer matter.

I solely define myself as a Child of God.

That's the core of what I'm saying today - our position is the same as John's. If we are followers of Jesus, we are the beloved (favorites) of God.

If we lived out of that truth, that we are truly God's favorite, our lives would be changed forever.

The question I want to leave you with today is this: do you treat yourself as if you are a cherished, precious possession of an all-powerful, all-loving God?

Do you live in and walk out that truth?

Come back next week to hear more :)

You Are God's Favorite, Part 2

Freedom Friday: You Are Precious

As most of you know if you've been reading my blog for a while, I have 2 little boys under the age of 4.

I tell them regularly that they are precious, they are cherished, and they are accepted. I share with them the joy I have in being their mom, and what a privilege it is to spend all day hanging out with them. I explain that though my love runs very deep, they also have a Heavenly Father who loves them even more, so much that He gave up everything for them.

Despite my good intentions, I yell too much. I am not nearly as patient as I'd like to be. I struggle with my words and my actions toward them at times. I find myself needing to apologize more often than I wish I needed to.

My children are very forgiving. Much more forgiving than I am of myself.

I am an imperfect parent. We are all imperfect. I don't say that to excuse my behavior. It is simply a statement about my, and everyone's, reality. Even if I were always patient, always kind, never raising my voice or using a harsh word, I still would not communicate perfectly my, and God's, love for them.

When I speak these truths to my children, that they are adored, they are loved, that God created them for a specific purpose and with unique gifts, that I am so blessed to be their mom - they are not old enough to fully understand all that this means. That's okay. I want these truths to sink into their little hearts so deeply that by the time they are old enough to understand, these truths will be so ingrained in them that they will be their reality.

Last week, I talked about resting in God. One of the reasons we need to rest in God is to receive from Him all those things He thinks about us and wants to deposit into our hearts.

When I became a Christian, a counselor taught me to identify the lies I believed about myself. They were so deeply ingrained in me that it has taken a very long time to uproot them. I'm still weeding through some.

One way I learned to recognize the lies was by learning the truth. Take a second to do a Google search for "who I am in Christ". Try and find a list that includes Old Testament references as well. By learning these truths and getting them deposited deep in my heart, it was much easier to recognize when I was struggling with the lies.

Here are a few of those truths.

As a believer, you have been adopted into God's family and have become His precious child (John 1:12).

You are forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14).

You have been bought with a price; you belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

You are chosen (Ephesians 1:3-8).

You have access to the Father (Ephesians 2:18).

You are safe (1 John 5:18).

God will never forget you (Isaiah 49:15), nor will He ever leave you or forsake you (Deutoronomy 31:6, 8; Joshua 1:5).

You have been written on the palm of God's hand (Isaiah 49:16).

You are loved with an everlasting love. God has drawn you with lovingkindness (Jeremiah 31:3).

We know what love is because God first reached out in love to us (John 3:16, 1 John 3:16, 4:19).

All these things are true for you simply because you are a child of God. There is nothing you could do, nothing you could achieve, no amount of hard work or even wandering that could make these things more or less true.

You are worth knowing, worth loving, and worth creating. Our Heavenly Father declared it so when He sent His one and only, precious, perfect, deeply loved Son to die on a cross.

I encourage you to let these truths sink into your heart. Rest in God, and allow Him to speak them directly to you. Learn to rest in the knowledge of who you are. Like with my children, it will likely soak into your heart long before you even begin to fully understand it.

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesian 3:17b-19

A few months ago, my older son turned to me and said, "You are precious!" Just a few days ago, he told his little brother the same thing.

It is sinking in.

You are precious. You are cherished. Let it sink in.

Freedom Friday: Resting in God

My youngest son as a baby, napping on my lap

Have you ever watched a child sleep?

My younger son is now 20 months old, but he is still beautiful when he sleeps. He took an extra long nap today after a short sleep last night. I went to check on him a couple of times, and had to restrain myself from taking his face in my hands and covering him with kisses.

So calm. So content. Not a care in the world.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

I have been thinking about the concept of resting in God lately. I seem to be continually encouraging people in my life to stop striving, trying to measure life by achievements and accomplishments, and just rest in Him. Like a good father or mother, God watches over us, carrying us, when we rely on and cling to Him.

"He will not let your foot slip;
He who watches over you will not slumber
Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm;
He will watch over your life.
The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:3-8

Are you resting in God, secure in His love? Allowing your worth to be found in Him and who He created you to be, rather than what you do and accomplish?

We generally spend a lot of time doing what I've heard called "should-ing on yourself".

"I should be doing this; I shouldn't be doing that. I should have accomplished this, I should be at this certain point by now." Of course, it's good to recognize what is beneficial in our lives and what is not, what is edifying and uplifting and what is dragging us down.

But what types of feeling do these "should" statements usually bring up in us? Encouragement and passion for growth? Or shame and condemnation? It's usually the latter.

Whose arbitrary standards are we trying to meet, anyway?

That's why resting in God is so important. When we rest in Him, He puts in us a desire to do those things He wants for us to do, not what we or someone else thinks we should be doing or achieving.

Cling to Jesus. Come to Him as you are.

When you are struggling, even in the moment, invite God in. Allow Him to just love you because He loves you - not for anything you've done or will do, but because He created you, He called you by name, and you have been adopted into His family. This may not be how your family & friends have treated you, or even how you treat yourself, but it's how God treats you. He desperately wants to love you and fill you with His peace.

So stop. Right now. Plant your feet firmly on the floor and imagine that God is your firm foundation. Take a deep breath. Like a baby bird, picture yourself resting in the shadow of His wing.

Smiling in his sleep

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

My little one was so exhausted that he slept for 3 hours in perfect peace. His brother and I finally woke him with snuggles and kisses.

Your Heavenly Father delights in you. Soak that in. He sings over you, quieting you with His love.

Rest in Him. His burden is light.

Freedom Friday: Hopelessness

Hopelessness.

Hopeless.
1 a : having no expectation of good or success : despairing
b : not susceptible to remedy or cure
c : incapable of redemption or improvement
2 a : giving no ground for hope : desperate
b : incapable of solution, management, or accomplishment : impossible
— hope·less·ness noun

Hopelessness.

That dark place we resort to when things are not turning out the way we thought & hoped they would. The place we go when we had dared to hope and those hopes were dashed.

Despair. Fear. Isolation.

I'm reading Breaking Free by Russell Willingham (highly recommend this book, and even more so recommend Relational Masks). Breaking Free is geared more toward heterosexual male sex addicts, but don't let that deter you from reading it or continuing on in this blog post. I am neither male nor have I dealt with sex addiction, but Russell Willingham is such a powerful speaker & writer that I am getting a ton out of it.

The chapter I'm on, "The Myth of No-Fault Victimization", discusses the following verse: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11

Russell Willingham talks about how in many ways, the sex addict is stuck in childish ways of relating. I think many of us, addicts or not, can relate to this. I heard someone recently refer to it as "Arrested Development": a part of us or an aspect of our personality can get stuck at a certain age & never mature past that point.

Russell breaks each aspect of the sex addicts arrested development: talking, thinking and reasoning.

I'm going to quote from the book now.

"I thought like a child." Many of us can't use the past tense as Paul did, because we are still stuck in childish beliefs, perceptions and notions that protect us from having to take responsibility for our choices. In another place Paul calls these strongholds (see 2 Cor 10:4-5).

He goes on to outline the various ways of thinking that children exhibit, such as egocentrism, centrism, animism, and hopelessness.

Hopelessness? That seems somewhat out of place. Listen to how he explains it (bolded emphasis mine, italics are the authors).

Hopelessness is not only a response to traumatic losses; it can also become a habit-forming coping mechanism. Children may lapse into hopelessness because they don't have all the information. My daughter once cried uncontrollably because her balloon popped. To her, all was lost. Because of her sobs she was unable to hear me telling her I would get her another one out of the bag. It wasn't until it was blown up and placed in her clenched fists that she opened her eyes and chose to hope again.

For many of us a popped balloon was the least of our worries in childhood. Some of us had childhood years that were filled with parental abuse, rejection or just plain indifference. In order to keep our sanity, many of us had to let go of the dream of ever having our needs met in these relationships.

Is hopelessness your default setting? Think about it. Are you, like Russell's daughter, holding on to that hopelessness with clenched fists? He goes on to say:

Two things can be said about the sexually broken. First, their hopes for love & protection were often shattered in childhood. And, second, they refuse to hope even now even though the Son of God is pleading with them. They cling to the familiar feeling of abandonment and rarely venture outside into the open spaces of God's love & grace. Why? Because they don't really believe it exists, or, if it exists, they believe they are not eligible for it. This is a repudiation of what they claim to believe.

I don't have much more to say about the above. Hopelessness is not from God. There is a reason He is called the God of Hope. Look at what it says in Hebrews 6:

Now when people take an oath, they call on someone greater than themselves to hold them to it. And without any question that oath is binding. God also bound himself with an oath, so that those who received the promise could be perfectly sure that he would never change his mind. So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.

If God is real, if He is who the Bible says He is, then hopelessness is not an option. If His promises are true, if He doesn't change, and never lies, then we have to reverse the pattern in our lives of getting sucked into hopelessness.

If you see a pattern in your life of hopelessness, if that is your default setting, start to choose to trust today by beginning to tell yourself the truth. Ask God to show you how to see your situation with His eyes. Read about hope in the Bible. Memorize those verse and meditate on them when you find yourself sinking into hopelessness.

I'll leave you with a few of my favorites:
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:18-19

"This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers." 1 Timothy 4:10

"Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because he raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory." 1 Peter 1:21

Freedom Friday: "I Have No Man": Looking for Help in All the Wrong Places

The Pool by Palma Giovane

Last week, I heard someone quoting John 5 on the radio and it was opened up to me in a whole new way.

Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porticoes. In these lay a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, and withered, [waiting for the moving of the waters; for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well from whatever disease with which he was afflicted.]

A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, "Do you wish to get well?"

The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me."

The above quote is from the NASB; you can read the whole chapter here.

I've heard this passage discussed quite a bit in recovery circles. In fact, it's the basis of Steve Arterburn's challenging book "Healing is a Choice".

And what has always stuck out to me was the man's response. I always viewed him as sort of making excuses in his reply to Jesus. After all, he didn't answer Jesus as to whether or not he wanted to get well; rather, he pointed out the reasons why he couldn't get well.

But on this occasion, I was most struck by the fact that the help he needed was right in front of his face, but he was unwilling or unable to see and accept it.

Do we sometimes ask the wrong people for help? Are the people who are available to best support us right in front of our faces, and yet we don't reach out?

A few months back, I was feeling a bit lonely and undersupported. I was lamenting this fact to Roy: all my friends are busy, have kids, have jobs, live far away, boo-hoo, no one loves me :( He reminded me of my pregnancy with Bear, that I had a list of women who I emailed on a regular basis with updates. What was stopping me from doing that again?

What was stopping me was that I hadn't thought of it!

I have 3 women I am accountable to, so as Roy suggested, I started emailing them regularly with an update to ask for prayer. Two of them live far, far away (as my 3.5 year-old son would say), and one of them lives about an hour away, so while I don't see them often, I know I have their support in prayer.

One of my default settings is to feel abandoned and rejected. I think that's part of why it's a challenge for me to reach out. But I can't complain about having inadequate support if I never actually asked anyone to support me. So I've also started asking others for support & help, even if they are likely busy and will say no. I can make an active choice not to allow past rejection & abandonment keep me from having deep, connected, supportive relationships.

Maybe the man at the pool had a similar default setting as I do (I'll be talking about "default settings" thoroughly in a future Freedom Friday, but just imagine it's the place and space you find yourself falling back to). It wouldn't be surprising, given that he'd been sick with something for 38 years, and no one was helping him get into the pool (likely the only way he thought he'd ever be healed). There was nothing wrong with his plan (to have someone lift him into the pool), but he was so fixated on that plan that he didn't see the help that was available right in front of him.

Where have you been looking for help? All the right places, or all the wrong places? Have you been so fixated on a particular plan that you are sure would work that you can't see that the help you need is readily available to you?

Freedom Fridays: Choosing to Trust

Trusting God is a hard thing. Understatement of the year, but this is something that has been really hitting home lately as I ponder the future of my children. Surrendering my children to God's care does not mean things will turn out the way I hope, or even that they will live to reach adulthood. I don't mean to sound so somber. Or maybe it sounds pessimistic or gloomy.

But it's reality. I had a miscarriage. I trusted God with that child. The child died.

I'm not saying God killed my child. Hardly. Miscarriages happen for many reasons. If we get hyper-focused on the "why", we miss the point :)

God LOVES you. Just like you wouldn't wish for bad things to happen to one of your children, neither would the God who does not give us stones when we ask for bread. He has beautiful, awesome, amazing and wonderful things for you and for me. Really. Let that soak in.

The point is that trusting God is a choice.

It's not a choice to trust that things will work out a certain way; it's a choice to trust in His character. It's a choice to believe that He works out all things for the good of those who love Him - and that means trusting that He's not trying to teach you a lesson in a punitive "I'm wagging my finger at you, little girl" way because you need to learn a lesson.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

I want to share an excerpt from an article I wrote:

And most importantly, I wrestled with God. A lot. In all honesty, I suppose, it was more like I wrestled and He waited patiently for me to realize that He is who He says He is and He will do what He has said He will do.

***

There were times when I was so angry and bitter at God because He could have made my life — past and present — easier if He wanted to, but He didn't. He wasn't working according to my timing, and that wasn't easy for me.

I'm reminded of something from John 6. Jesus had just given the disciples a particularly difficult command. Rather than trusting in God's goodness and overall trustworthiness and taking into account their limited understanding, quite a few of the disciples decided it was too tough a command and stopped following Christ. When Jesus turned to the Twelve to ask if they would leave too, Peter responded, "Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We've already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God."

That's how I feel. In the midst of all the questions and doubts, I already knew that I had tasted and seen that the Lord is indeed good, and that I had no other choice but to take refuge in Him (Psalm 34:8), to take my questions and hurts, rest in the shadow of His wing, and trust that He's always been faithful. And that this time will be no exception.

As I've been contemplating the issue of trust and what it should look like, I can't help but think of the following passage where children interact with Jesus:

People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16 (emphasis mine)

I'm sure there are a lot of things we could pull from this as we seek to understand the passage, but I can't help but relate it to the trust of a child.

As most of you know if you've spent 60 seconds reading my blog, I have 2 children :) I never had to teach them to trust me. They trusted me from birth. Of course as imperfect parents, there are things we can do to break that trust, but at least initially, my children inherently trusted me, and thankfully they still do. They run to me (or their father) when they need food, when they have a question (in fact, all day long, I hear, "Excuse me! I'm telling you a question!"), they come to us when they are excited, and we are the first people they run to when they were hurt.

Why don't we do that with God? If we are to come to Him as little children, why don't we trust Him like little children?

Trust is a choice. Again, it's a choice to take God at His word. It's a choice to believe that He is who He says He is even when life would try to convince us otherwise.

I've been actively choosing to trust God for several years now. Almost every time I pray, I end with, "God, I choose to trust You." It's almost another way of saying, "God, if Your will is different than my will & my desires, I will still love & follow You."

If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.
2 Timothy 2:13

Believers are God's children. We have been adopted into His family. And when we choose to trust God, it's a picture of how Jesus responded to the little children: He takes us into His arms, places His hands on us and blesses us.

Trust is a choice.



When I think about trust, I can't help but think of the song He's Always Been Faithful by Sara Groves, a song that still brings me to tears almost every time, despite 8+ years of knowing it. I chose the picture for this entry based on the first 2 lines. The lyrics stand for themselves. I'll end this post with them.

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine
Season by season I watch him amazed
In awe of the mystery of his perfect ways

All I have need of his hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me

I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only and trusting his hand

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long
God has been faithful, he will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end

Eeyore Complex: Pooping on God's Plan

I tend to have a "Woe is me" attitude. I don't know if it's because I faced quite a few challenges in my life, or just because I'm choosing to have an Eeyore complex.

I have this problem that is an extension of my Eeyore complex. I often talk too much about the challenges I face. I like to get people to join in my pity party. Or on the flip side, I think if I don't broadcast my need to everyone in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, God can't and/or won't provide.

I actually think most Christians have an Eeyore complex. It may not manifest itself in them as it does in me. I think many Christians don't talk about their problems enough, or at least don't know how to talk about them in a redemptive way. But this Eeyore complex is generally characterized by envy and pessimism. We see how God is working in the lives of others and while outwardly rejoicing with them, inwardly we are jealous. Jealous of how God is blessing others. Envious of how visible He is in others' lives. And pessimistic toward our future, which, in our eyes, is forever bleak.

What we're basically saying is, God is going to bless others with good things, but not me. God is working in others' lives and providing for their needs in neat ways, but He's not going to do that in mine.

Today as I was feeling particularly pessimistic about a situation in my life, and, of course, sharing about it on Facebook, this thought struck me: I wonder how my whining makes my Heavenly Father feel.

I sort of know the answer.

How would I feel if my children went whining around the neighborhood, asking for everyone else to feed them and meet their needs, but they didn't come to me? What if they only came to me as sort of an afterthought? Like I was their 2nd or 3rd choice?

If I found my kids begging for crumbs at the corner store, I would be beyond heartbroken. Completely devastated.

"You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7:9-11

I once heard someone say that by being envious of what God is doing in others' lives, we're basically saying the specific plan that He has for us isn't good enough.

That's sort of like pooping on God's plan.

I have this blog post bouncing around in my head. It's somehow related, maybe just in that God wants us to go to Him first.

I need to take my own advice and tell myself the truth, that I have an amazingly loving father who sent His Son to hell & back for me, who wants to bless me beyond my wildest dreams.

I need to stop pooping on God's plan and rather trust in the beautiful plan He has for me, a hand-crafted journey thought up by the One who knit me together and knows me better than I know myself.

Freedom Fridays: Think Like a Free Person, Part 2

Last week's Think Like a Free Person, Part 1

Thinking like a free person isn’t just about addressing the lies we’ve chosen to believe. It’s also about fully embracing all God has for us, and more importantly, all God has already done for us.

This took me years to get. In fact, I'm still getting it.

For so long I relied on my feelings as my understanding of “truth”. If I felt something, it was “true”. If I didn’t feel it, it wasn’t “true”.

That is such a dangerous way to live.

I remember some very painful and tear-filled prayer times in my early walk with God. I’d cry out to God, “I can’t feel you, God! Please be here with me.” Satan tried to use that against me. “See, you can’t feel God! He doesn’t like you anymore! Nah-nah-na-boo-boo!” Of course if he had actually said, "Nah-nah-na-boo-boo!” maybe I would have realized where these thoughts were from.

I thought it was “true” because that’s how I felt.

Satan is the father of all lies! Not some lies, but every single one. In the Amplified Bible, the end of John 8:44 says “When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false.”

I now know it doesn’t matter how I feel; I’m always in God’s presence. In fact, Psalm 139 says there’s nowhere I can go and not be in God’s presence. Absolutely nowhere.

Another thing I’d cry out to God is “God, why don’t You speak to me? You must not like me or I must have some unconfessed sin in my heart. So, God, I’m going to sit here until You show me what that sin is or until You speak to me.”

I was telling myself a half-truth because the Bible does say in Psalm 66:18 “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” I used that verse to beat myself up as proof that I was a pile of sin and piece of crud, and that I couldn’t hear from God because I had some cherished sin in my heart. But the truth of the matter is I didn’t have unconfessed sin in my heart; I was truly open to God’s conviction.

If you are honestly open to hearing from the Lord about any areas of sin in your life, He will show them to you. Just like I don't need to constantly ask my intimate friends if I've done something to somehow offend or upset them, I don't need to go on a constant fishing expedition to figure out if I've somehow offended God or upset Him. I'm not saying that there isn't wisdom in praying, as David prayed in Psalm 139, "Search me, O God, and see if there is any offensive way in me." What I am saying is that we don't have to constantly pick through our day with a fine-toothed comb in hopes that we can find whatever cherished sin is keeping God from hearing our prayers.

Jesus said in John 10:27 (NASB) “My sheep hear My voice”. Not “they might hear my voice” or “they could maybe one day hear my voice” or "if they try hard enough", but “My sheep hear My voice”. Period. The Bible is full of these types of promises, of what God has already done for us and everything that is available to us simply because Jesus died on the cross and we, in turn, repented of our sin and accepted His sacrifice as our Savior.

If you’re still allowing your old ways of thinking about yourself and about God to dictate your worth and your actions, you are basically telling Jesus that He’s not allowed to be Lord of your life. You are accepting the salvation He is giving, but rejecting the transformation He is offering.

We need to allow Him to take His proper place in our lives - not only as the Savior of your soul, but also as Transformer of our lives & Redeemer and Renewer of your mind.

Read the following verse as you think about the negative things you have said to yourself: "Men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken" (Matthew 12:36). You may have never thought to apply that verse the words you say to yourself, but you are God's precious creation. If you are a believer in and follower of Jesus Christ, you have been adopted as God's child. Think of how God's heart breaks when we speak cruelly to ourselves.

I'm not a subscriber to "name it & claim it", nor do I think we can speak anything we want into being. But there is something to be learned from those theologies. They may be taking a truth of God to an extreme - but there is still some truth there.

Think back to the last big mistake you made. How many times did you call yourself an idiot? Did you curse yourself for taking a risk? Did you berate yourself for for doing something so stupid?

I made a big snafu this week. I was going through the chest freezer to defrost some stuff and left a bag of steaks on the floor when I put stuff back in the freezer. I didn't notice for like 15+ hours. And these were no ordinary steaks

The book of Proverbs says “reckless words pierce like a sword”. A pastor friend of mine used to say that words have the power to deposit courage into you (encourage) or rip courage out of you (discourage). How have your words to yourself been today? Are you depositing courage into yourself by replacing the lies with truth or are you ripping courage out of yourself by mistaking the lies for truth?

In Matthew 4, we read the account of Jesus being tempted after forty days of fasting. It was clear that Satan was lying to and trying to trick Jesus. Jesus could have just said, "Satan, you're ridiculous. Go away." Or worse, He could have given in to Satan's demands. But instead, Jesus responded to Satan's lies and even the Scripture he half-quoted with Scripture. Even in his tired, hungry state, Jesus had the Word so deep in His soul that it just flowed right out of Him.

We need that. As I said at the beginning of this series, we need to immerse ourselves in God's Word. Looking at Jesus's example, we can easily recognize the lies when we have been soaked in God's truth.

Today, you have a choice. You can choose to trust that God is who He says He is. You can choose to believe all the promises the Word has for God's children. You can choose to attack the lies with truths from God's Word.

That's how free people think.

Freedom Fridays, Tools for the Journey (New Series): HALT

I had a blog post started for today but decided to simplify it. Various events lately have reminded me that sometimes, we just need to keep things simple. So today's post will be the beginning of another series within Freedom Friday called "Tools for the Journey". Yes, I will continue to finish the "Learning to Walk in Freedom" after this brief diversion :)

How do we keep recovery simple? What small things can I keep in my toolbox as I learn to walk in freedom?

I'll start off the "Tools for the Journey" series by talking about a number of things we can do when we have a "Moment of Maybe" as described in "Act like a Free Person, Part 2", those moments where we are tempted:
To sin
To see ourselves in any other way than how God sees us
To believe the lies and fall back into old patterns, tempted to take our unhealthy/unhelpful thoughts and run with them
To fall into despair and hopelessness

In those Moments of Maybe, we need to stop and do some evaluation & self-care. So the first thing I want to share about is HALT.

We need to practice HALT.

In recovery, HALT stands for:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

In evaluating HALT, we ask if our most basic needs are being met. Our need for food and sleep, as well as our need for relationships and true expression of feelings.

My older son has food sensitivities (can't eat wheat, dairy or soy). And we discovered not long into his little life that if he doesn't get adequate protein in his diet, it manifests itself in his behavior.

So every morning, he starts off the day with protein. He has to eat his protein before he gets anything else. Protein helps regulate blood sugar, and drastic blood sugar drops cause mood swings. 3 year olds are moody enough without adding blood sugar issues to the mix, so we make sure he gets plenty of healthy protein.

The reality is people who feel bad act bad. We can't use our physical or emotional feelings as an excuse to behave poorly, but we can use those feelings as an opportunity to evaluate:

Am I hungry? Am I angry? Am I lonely? Am I tired?

If we find one of those things to be true, then we can take care of it. With my son, he sometimes doesn't know that he needs a snack; thus, asking, "Are you hungry?" in the middle of a tantrum isn't all that productive. Instead, I put a drink and a protein-rich snack in front of him, and as a general rule, he'll devour it.

Since I'm a grown-up, I can get myself a small snack and then re-evaluate how I'm feeling. I can think about whether or not I'm getting enough sleep. I can look at the recent weeks and see how much time I've spent developing my relationships. And I can stop for a minute and consider whether or not I am angry or upset & unsettled about something.

The next time you're in a Moment of Maybe, stop and practice HALT.

Perspective: Happy Horizons Children's Ranch

Today, the founders of Happy Horizons Children's Ranch visited my church. They had visited our church several years back, and their mission has been heavy on my heart. It was great to see them today and hear an update.

Their main work is the rehabilitation and defense of street children in the Philippines. Happy Horizons monitors and cares for hundreds of street children, many of whom have been abandoned or orphaned by civil war, abused or rejected by dysfunctional and poverty-stricken families, and further traumatized by the indifference of the societies in which they live. They also rescue children from the sexual slavery. You can read more about their mission here.

Did you know it is estimated that:
~ 27 million people are currently enslaved
~ 80% of those are women & children
~ 800,000 people are trafficked across international borders each year

Glenn Garrison, one of the HHCR founders, shared a story about how children at the Ranch need to be told that they will be having meals 3 times a day; otherwise, they don't finish their meals but rather stuff food in their pockets to save for later. They are used to eating every few days. This, in particular, struck me. My parents never gave me the "there are starving children in Africa" line in order to get me to finish my meal, and we do not participate in the "Clean Plate Club" at our house. But having overcome an eating disorder, I still sometimes struggle with knowing when I've eaten enough and definitely have eaten when I was not hungry because I felt like eating or the food tasted good. There are children everywhere who do not know where their next meal will come from. This striking story reminded me of the importance of giving my body what it needs and stopping there.

Glenn shared that these children are often completely defenseless. A man comes along and buys a girl a meal and a nice dress and she feels indebted to him. Many of these children don't have a name and don't even know their birthdays or how old they are.

I can't help but think of my own children. Jesus said "whoever welcomes a little child in my name welcomes me." The Garrisons are doing exactly that. It's an important work. Check out their website and support them if you are able.