Freedom Friday: My Stone of Remembrance

"People come and people go; only You remain. Constant. Faithful. Loving. Kind. Good. Comforting. Patient. Wonderful." I tweeted this on Monday.

To say I've been struggling in the past year, and even more so since my father died, is an understatement. Some days, weeks, months are more difficult than others. I find myself anxious, despairing, eating to numb the feelings.

I had been asking myself, if this were someone besides me, how would I be advising them? How would I be helping them? I would be telling them to give themselves grace, that God deeply deeply loves them, and that He doesn't see them as the broken person that they see themselves to be.

So, I have just been telling myself those things. That I am God's favorite. His beloved. Cherished. That He has so much more for me than I have allowed myself to experience.

Something happened almost 2 months ago to make these things feel even more real and true.

On April 9th, I was driving to work as I do many days. I was on the highway, going just under 60 miles per hour.   It was in the mid 70s, so I had the window open about 5-6 inches. There was a truck in the lane to the left of me, driving about 10 feet in front of me.

All of a sudden, several rocks flew out of the truck. The trajectory of each rock was different, so there was no way to swerve or try and get out of the path of the rocks.

Several of the rocks were large and coming straight at me, so I did what I thought to do: I ducked! My windshield already has a crack in it, which has been repaired, but I didn't know if it's still as strong as an intact windshield would be.

I heard a big clanking noise and looked up, expecting my windshield or window to be shattered. It wasn't. I finally realized the rock must have come right in the crack in the window, not breaking anything, and narrowly missing my head. 

I felt God speaking to my heart, "See, Brenna? I am faithful."

When I finally got a chance to stop, I looked for the rock. It was by the passenger side door, and it was the smallest one that had fallen off the truck. Some of the rocks looked as big as the palm of my hand.

The rock in my car

I'm keeping the rock. It is a stone of remembrance for me, like when Joshua and the Israelites crossed the Jordan River.

Look back on your life, on your stones of remembrance. Those hopeless situations where God allowed His hope to shine through. Those small lights in your life. Write them down. Reflect on them. Trust in the character of the God who parted the Jordan at flood stage.

God is faithful. And His faithfulness shines best in impossible-seeming, flood-stage situations. Choose to trust today in the God who can calm the storm and part the waters.

Monday Morning Meditation: Embrace Grace Again (Psalm 25 Series)

Welcome, friends. Here is today's passage in the Psalm 25 series (v. 11):

For the sake of your name, O Lord,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

I can't get past this verse. I want to tack some of the following verses onto this blog post, but I just can't.

My heart cries out with David.

For the sake of your name....

My sins, Lord - they overwhelm me.
They flood over me,
To the point where I feel as if I might drown.
Do you see how great my struggles are?
Do you see the foolishness, 
Not only of my youth, but of today?

David, in his humble state, wrestles with the questions that I imagine many of us do:

Will God forgive me?

Can He?

Read again verse 10:

All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
For those who keep the demands of his covenant.

David knows God's character. He spends much of this psalm declaring that truth. And yet, he still seems to express almost a doubt here about those times he did not keep the demands of the covenant -

For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

David knew a Messiah would come. We know the Messiah has come.

We look at our sin, reminding God of how great it is. God shows us the cross, reminding us how sufficient He is.

I'm so thankful for the cross. Through it, we have the opportunity to experience his grace everyday, grace that seems to good to be true.

Grace declares all of our sins forgiven, even the one you committed yesterday that you've committed a million times before.

Grace also empowers us to resist sin through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Can you embrace grace today?

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

Approach the throne. Embrace the power of grace. Rather than beg for forgiveness, as David did, ask to be continually filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18) who is able to empower you to resist the lure of temptation. Look to the cross. It is sufficient.