Monday Morning Meditation: Turn to Me (Psalm 25 Series)

Here is today's passage in the Psalm 25 series (v. 16-18):

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

Do you ever feel as if the troubles of your heart have multiplied? Like you already had enough troubles, and suddenly, you find yourself with exponentially more?

Turn to me, O God.

Have you ever found yourself lonely and afflicted (the NLT says "deep distress")? Drowning in anguish?

As I write this, I have just completed the Yakima (WA) Relay for Life. I chose this location to support my friend Eva. I chose this event to honor my father, who I lost to cancer 7 months ago.

It was a beautiful and emotional time. I am now facing flying home with 2 sick kids. It's a long plane ride and a 2 1/2 hour drive to get to the airport.

"Drowning in anguish" is a bit extreme for how I feel, but distressed is sufficient.

Turn to me, O God.

I am reminded that God is near. One of the themes of this psalm is hope. "No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame."

I rest in that promise. God is able.

Feeling overwhelmed? Pray with David (and me):

Turn to me, O God.

Freedom Friday: My Stone of Remembrance

"People come and people go; only You remain. Constant. Faithful. Loving. Kind. Good. Comforting. Patient. Wonderful." I tweeted this on Monday.

To say I've been struggling in the past year, and even more so since my father died, is an understatement. Some days, weeks, months are more difficult than others. I find myself anxious, despairing, eating to numb the feelings.

I had been asking myself, if this were someone besides me, how would I be advising them? How would I be helping them? I would be telling them to give themselves grace, that God deeply deeply loves them, and that He doesn't see them as the broken person that they see themselves to be.

So, I have just been telling myself those things. That I am God's favorite. His beloved. Cherished. That He has so much more for me than I have allowed myself to experience.

Something happened almost 2 months ago to make these things feel even more real and true.

On April 9th, I was driving to work as I do many days. I was on the highway, going just under 60 miles per hour.   It was in the mid 70s, so I had the window open about 5-6 inches. There was a truck in the lane to the left of me, driving about 10 feet in front of me.

All of a sudden, several rocks flew out of the truck. The trajectory of each rock was different, so there was no way to swerve or try and get out of the path of the rocks.

Several of the rocks were large and coming straight at me, so I did what I thought to do: I ducked! My windshield already has a crack in it, which has been repaired, but I didn't know if it's still as strong as an intact windshield would be.

I heard a big clanking noise and looked up, expecting my windshield or window to be shattered. It wasn't. I finally realized the rock must have come right in the crack in the window, not breaking anything, and narrowly missing my head. 

I felt God speaking to my heart, "See, Brenna? I am faithful."

When I finally got a chance to stop, I looked for the rock. It was by the passenger side door, and it was the smallest one that had fallen off the truck. Some of the rocks looked as big as the palm of my hand.

The rock in my car

I'm keeping the rock. It is a stone of remembrance for me, like when Joshua and the Israelites crossed the Jordan River.

Look back on your life, on your stones of remembrance. Those hopeless situations where God allowed His hope to shine through. Those small lights in your life. Write them down. Reflect on them. Trust in the character of the God who parted the Jordan at flood stage.

God is faithful. And His faithfulness shines best in impossible-seeming, flood-stage situations. Choose to trust today in the God who can calm the storm and part the waters.

Monday Morning Meditation: All Day Long (Psalm 25 Series)

We're continuing the Psalm 25 series, my psalm for the year, with the 3rd installment.

Verses 4-5:

Show me your ways, O Lord,
Teach me your paths;
Guide me in your truth and teach me
For you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

I memorized these verses several weeks ago and have found myself endlessly repeating them. Sometimes, I simply say, "All day long, Lord, all day long."

I shared in my initial post that this psalm has sustained me through many challenging events. In September, we found out the cancer was now in the liver, that my father may only live 3-6 months, 6-12 if the chemo worked. We set a date to move, no matter what, whether the condo sold or not. That date was still 2 months away. I was struggling with hope.

I read Psalm 25 as I walked to the train the day after finding out the cancer had spread. It became my routine, as I grasped on to every word of that psalm as a deer pants for streams of water.

I still do.

We have since moved. My father lived less than 2 months, and in addition to career changes and location upheaval, I wrestle daily with what life should look like at age 37 with my father not here for me to call on the phone with questions, but present with the Lord. I've wondered if what I feel is grief, or am I slipping back into the depression that dominated my life for over 2 decades.

The questions that have come in this time have not been easy. Answers are coming slowly, through prayer, through clinging, through resting, through trusting.

Show me Your ways, O Lord....

Not mine, God. Yours.

Teach me Your paths
Guide me in Your truth and teach me

Let Your truth shine forth into my darkness, into the questions. Let truth be what I cling to.

For You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all. day. long.

You are Lord. I am not. Therefore, my hope is in You and You alone.

Morning coming slowly in our new town

Joy comes in the morning, friends.

And in the mourning, too.

It is coming slowly. Like drips of living water.

I'm catching glimmers of hope and allowing God to teach me.

My hope is in Him, all day long.

Monday Morning Meditation: Dealing with Shame (Psalm 25 Series)

Several long weeks ago, I began a series on Psalm 25, my psalm for the year. We looked at just the first verse and a half (1-2a):

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;
in you I trust, O my God.

Today we'll look at the next verse and a half (2b-3):

Do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one whose hope is in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
    who are treacherous without excuse.

To assist me with my seminary graduate work, I recently purchased a Bible software package. Having just completed my first Old Testament exegesis project (do you have any questions about Nehemiah? I may just have answers!), my favorite part was having the software read the Hebrew to me.*

But I digress :) Let's put ourselves in the psalmist's shoes for a minute (in this case, King David).

Have you ever felt ashamed?

Shame is a common human emotion. It began with Adam and Eve, after their eyes were opened to good and evil. Prior to that, they felt no shame (Genesis 2:25).

Can you even imagine what that felt like?

Shame is partially taught and partially inborn. There is such a thing as "healthy shame." If we sin, and we think, "That was not a good choice," or "I did something wrong," that is healthy shame. If we sin, and think, "I am bad to my core," or "I am a mistake," that is not healthy shame.

Distinguishing between the two is a challenge. In fact, when I typed "dealing with shame" into Amazon.com, 467 resources came up.

How did David deal with his shame and fear of it?

He chose to take it to God and put his hope there.

Hope is a choice. It can be a difficult and even counter-cultural choice in a world that relies so much on what we see and feel and touch. Hope is "an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" according to Hebrews 6:19. But the Tyndale Commentary on this section of Hebrews rightly states that it requires tenacity, a tight hold on God and His Word, to retain that hope; it will not simply come to us or happen by chance.

What is our solution to shame today? Either healthy or unhealthy shame?  Hope in the Lord. Find your worth there. Allow your identity to be defined by the cross and not by the reactions of others.

Choose to put your hope in God first.

*I don't know a single thing about Hebrew, but even I can learn and discover interesting aspects of the text through simply hearing a robotic voice read it to me. In fact, during this exercise, I spent way too much time playing with that feature. 

I'll just give you an example of the structure of verse 3. The word that is translated "put to shame" is in the middle of the Hebrew and is repeated. So the structure of the sentence looks something like this:

These people = no shame; shame = these people.

Repetition is a commonly used literary device in the original languages, but some of that can be lost in translation. The English here actually does a fairly good job of capturing that.

Monday Morning Meditation: Prisoners of Hope

Good morning, my blog readers!

Monday often brings such mixed feelings.

If you have a Monday through Friday job you like, Monday likely brings excitement and anticipation of what the week brings.

Most of us, though, are left wondering where the weekend went!  Some of us head off to jobs we dread or situation that appear hopeless.

One of my dear friends who is going through an extremely challenging situation posted on Facebook, "Do you need hope today?"  Don't we all?  He posted a few Scriptures, and I added one of my favorites:

"Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope;
even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you."
Zechariah 9:12 (NIV1984)

Prisoners of hope! What images does that bring to mind?

What are you a prisoner to?

If your hope is waning today, make yourself a prisoner of some of these Scriptures below. Let God breath life into them and you. Let the God of hope transform any hopeless areas of your life.

Let hope illuminate itself within your soul like the glimmers of the sun as it rises in the morning.

Be blessed!

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." Psalm 62:5

"You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas." Psalm 65:5

"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." Psalm 94:19

"You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope." Psalm 119:114

"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12

"This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers." 1 Timothy 4:10

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5

Monday Morning Meditation: Called to Praise (Psalm 71 series)

We are continuing the series on Psalm 71. I encourage you to read the whole psalm here.

It's certainly worth looking back over the themes of this psalm thus far before considering today's verses.

Prayer Requests Intertwined with Truth
God's Protection from the Enemy God is Our Hope
What Am I Living For?
Never Alone

David, the writer of this psalm, combines the hope he has in God and the truth he knows about God with the reality he is facing. He is getting older, and it feels as if his enemies are surrounding him. Will God continue to come through?

Verses 14-16:

But I will keep on hoping for you to help me;
I will praise you more and more.
I will tell everyone about your righteousness.
All day long I will proclaim your saving power,
for I am overwhelmed by how much you have done for me.
I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign LORD.
I will tell everyone that you alone are just and good.

"I will praise you more and more."

I don't know if that's my natural inclination when trials come. I'm fairly certain my natural inclination is to complain and run around telling everyone how bad off I am. In a post back in February, I shared that when God calls for silence, we can pray, fast, wait, listen, obey and rejoice.

We are called to praise.

Despite the obstacles he was facing, David found multiple reasons to praise God and to declare to others all that God is.

David declared he is overwhelmed by all God has done for him. Usually, when I face challenges, the only thing I'm overwhelmed by is the obstacles I'm staring at.

"Look beyond the tombstone - see the Living God."

As I was writing this today, this lyric came through my headphones from the song Glorious by Paul Baloche. Even though I know he's singing of Jesus's tomb, my mind immediately went to Lazarus, given the opportunity to believe that God has placed before me and my family in this season. We were just reading the story yesterday.

“Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

Jesus calls us, as He did Martha, to look beyond the tombstone. He calls us to praise, more and more. Even before the answer comes, even before we see that victory is on its way, we can be overwhelmed by the reality of all that God is and all that He's done. We can proclaim His saving power and call others to praise with us.

Freedom Friday: An Opportunity to Believe

Wednesday was not my prettiest day.

I'm not sure how to describe how I was feeling. Forlorn is about right. Discouraged, sad, disappointed and disillusioned would work, too.

In the afternoon, I went out to run errands. I was headed to the post office, where I knew there'd be a long line. I was wishing I had brought a book to read, other than the Bible (which is on my phone).

I then told God I didn't want to read the Bible while I waited in line because I was annoyed at the current state of affairs. I was feeling frantic and inconsolable about the way He was allowing things to play out.

Basically, I was pouting and doubting.



Then He spoke.

Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?

My breath caught.

I knew exactly the story where Jesus spoke these words. It's one of my favorite stories in the Bible. I've taught from this story on numerous occasions, within diverse contexts.

It's the story of Mary, Martha and Lazarus.

Jesus came to Judea where Lazarus had died and had been laid in a tomb. Mary and Martha were with Him at the tomb (John 11).

“Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."

Martha, who moments earlier had said to Jesus with such faith, "I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

When the time came to put that faith into action, she hesitated.

Jesus' reply is recorded in the verse above that came to my heart:

“Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

Martha was being given an opportunity to believe.

An opportunity is just an opportunity. In every opportunity, there is choice.

Martha was given an opportunity to choose to believe, or choose not to believe. She could choose to believe that God is true to His Word, that He is who He says He is, and He will do what He has said He will do. Or she could choose to remain in confusion and despair and doubt.

We have the same opportunity.

How will we respond when God invites us to roll away the stone?

God, do You really want to open that door?

I think this is my response at times.

Because it's cold and it's dark and that's where I keep my pain. That's where I hide away the stuff I don't want the world (or You) to see. The pain, the fear, the junk I hold on to - its been in there so long that it's starting to rot. It's so bad, God, that it has even started to smell in there. If You open that door, God: well, it's not going to be pretty and it's not going to be nice.

Since when was God's power constrained by ugliness? The stench doesn't bother Him. And He doesn't care if it's pretty or nice. Pretty and nice don't encapsulate His objectives.

He wants to do something beautiful.

Can you imagine if Jesus had said, "Oh, Martha, you think it might smell in there? Maybe you're right. We should keep it closed. I've always had a weak stomach."

Not our Savior. Not the One who endured the ugliness of the cross.

And out of that ugliness, God did something beautiful.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

When Lazarus came out of the tomb, his head, feet and hands still bound with grave clothes, Jesus said to those gathered, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."

I imagine the people looked at Lazarus as one who was dead. Jesus saw past the grave clothes and saw one who was becoming alive.

Oh, how often I view my trials like this. I only see the death, the dreariness, the heartache and hopelessness.

Is this, too, how the disciples felt, as they watched Jesus take His last breath on the cross? As He declared, "It is finished," and gave His spirit up to the One who sent Him?

Where had hope gone?

We are so short-sighted. Without death, we cannot fully appreciate life.

Sometimes, it's us who have to die. Little by little, we have to lose our lives only to fully live.

Where we see emptiness, hopelessness, death, Jesus looks at the same thing and simply sees its potential for life.

"I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." (John 10:10b AMP)

Oh, Lord, forgive my unbelieving heart. I want to see your glory in this opportunity to believe. Be magnified in my eyes and in my heart. Empower me to fully trust in You in this moment. You are able.

Monday Morning Meditation: Prayer Requests Intertwined with Truth (Psalm 71 series)

Today, we will be beginning a new series on Psalm 71. I encourage you to read the whole psalm here.

Here are today's verses (1-2):

O LORD, you are my refuge; never let me be disgraced.
Rescue me! Save me from my enemies, for you are just.
Turn your ear to listen and set me free.

David wrote this psalm in his old age. We see in Scripture that the end of David's life was full of strife and pain.

David had followed God his whole life; would God continue to come through?

We know following God does not promise us an easy life. "For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike." Matthew 5:45 (NLT) David recognized this truth while acknowledging that God is his only hope.

Notice how he begins this psalm, intertwining truth about God with prayer. David had serious issues to bring before God, but he didn't just bring his laundry list of prayers and leave it at that.

Our laundry list can often be quite depressing. David recognized the importance of reminding himself of the truth of God's character and reminding God of His promises.

David states:
God is refuge - don't allow disgrace.
God is rescuer - save me.
God is just. God is listening.
God sets free.

When things look grim, we can remind ourselves of God's character, His heart, and His desires for His children.

Lord, help us to remember to bring our requests to You alongside reminders of who You are, what You have done, and what You are able to do. Be refuge, be rescuer, be just, as You have said You will be. Set us free, Lord, as only You are able. Amen.

Monday Morning Meditation: Wait in Expectation

I will be out of town when this is published and will not have access to a computer.

Thus, I'd like to leave you with a few verses and a link to a song I wrote back in 1999 based on this psalm.

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

I named the song, In the Morning.



Wait for Him with expectation. He hears your voice.

In the Morning
In the morning, LORD, You hear my voice;
In the morning I wait.
Yes, in the morning, Lord, I lay my burdens before You,
And wait in expectation for Your voice.

By Your great mercy, I will come into Your house.
In reverence, I will bow down.
Lead me, Lord, in Your righteousness,
And make Your way straight before me.

Por la mañana, Señor,
Escuchas mi clamor
Por la mañana, Señor, te esperoy
Por la mañana, Señor,
Te presento a ti mis ruegos
Y quedo a la espera de oir tu voz

Por tu gran amor, entraré en tu casa
Con reverencia, me postraré
Guíame Señor en tu justicia
Y empareja delante de mi tu senda

© 1999 Unveiled Faces Music

(Unfortunately, I do not currently have a recording of the Spanish translation. Any native Spanish speakers want to volunteer to sing, or at least reassure me that my Spanish is not horrifying?)

Freedom Friday: Are Your Dreams Suffocating?

What have you been dreaming about lately?

Are there dreams that God has deposited in your heart?

There have been many times God stirred a vision in my heart: for my life, my family, my marriage, His calling. Thinking about the dream, praying through it, processing it made me come alive. It stirred a longing in me that is often silenced.

Then something changes.

Life happens, circumstances are difficult, my perspective tells me it's not worth it to hope. My dreams are too big, too ludicrous - just too much.

It reminds me of the parable of the sower that Jesus told in Luke 8. My dreams become like the seed that fell among thorns.

"The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity." verse 14

What are the thorns suffocating your dreams?


If we serve a God of hope, and hope does not disappoint....

If hope that is seen is not really hope ("if we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it," Romans 8:24 NLT)......

Why do we allow our dreams to be suffocated?

There is a simple answer.

Fear.

My main thorn is fear.

Fear drowns hope. It keeps my dreams bound, caged, suffocating.

How do we combat fear?

With love.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18 NIV84)

If God is love, if His love is unfailing and never-ending, why do I fear? Why do I doubt?

When I look to the cross, can I still believe anything is impossible for God?

This thought popped into my head today: I never want to stop dreaming.

I need to find a way to keep my dreams alive, to fight off the thorns that threaten to silence them.

"And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest." Luke 8:15

Is fear suffocating your dreams today? What would happen if you received God's unfailing love?

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

What dream of yours needs to be revived today?

Other helpful posts:
Are Your Dreams Asleep?
How To Keep Dreams Alive
Living Your Amazing Without Suffocating

Monday Morning Meditation: My Hope Is In Him

I wrote on Friday about the power of the cross. I see in the cross how to surrender, how to forgive, and how to be victorious. I can grasp on to those things.

And yet, I still struggle: how do I appropriately respond to all that Jesus did for me?

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him." Psalm 62:5 (NLT)

My response is to wait. My response is to humble myself and quiet myself before Him.

The cross reminds me to trust. My hope is in the God who hung from the cross and died. My hope is in the One who could not be contained in a tomb. My hope is in the Healer who cleansed lepers and cast out demons. My hope is in the Savior who purchased abundant life for me. My hope is in the Freedom Giver who set the captives loose from their chains.

This is not some "wishing on a star."

It's secure. It's real. I can look at the cross and recognize, "If God can do that, He can do anything."

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him." Psalm 62:5 (NLT)

How can you continue to reflect on the cross? Wait quietly before Him. Let Him speak to your heart. Let Him be your hope.

Note to readers: I am currently reading the Life Recovery Bible. The NLT seems to have slight differences there when compared to the NLT at Biblegateway.com.

Monday Morning Meditation: Overflowing Hope

Could you use a dose of hope today?

I could.

Romans 15:13 is a challenging and inspiring verse on hope:

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

The progression of this verse has been really encouraging to me lately, so I thought I'd share it with you this morning. Let's read it bit by bit.

"May the God of hope..."

Notice first this is phrased almost as a prayer. "May the God of hope.." This is one of many almost-prayers in the book of Romans, and even in this chapter. Paul seems to be praying this verse for the readers of the letter.

Second, notice that God is called the "God of hope." This Greek word, translated "hope", appears 8 times in the book of Romans, and 48 times total in the New Testament. In Romans 5, Paul says that "hope does not disappoint," and this particular hope is brought about by the character building that comes through suffering and trials.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him...."

I consider this bolded portion to be the heart of the verse: as you trust in Him.

The joy & peace come as we choose to trust.... and choose to trust again.... and choose to trust again.

I just talked about this in Freedom Friday a few weeks ago. Choosing to trust God has been such a big part of my journey, as I did not truly trust God for much of my Christian walk. My trust of God depended on my circumstances, my perceptions of what He was doing, and my speculations concerning His character.

A turning point came when God asked me to trust Him, and I realized that while I believed I was trusting Him, my actions and thoughts showed otherwise. At that moment, I realized trust is a choice. It cannot be dependent on what I see or how I experience life. It needs to depend solely on His character.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

By the power of the Holy Spirit (the same power that was exerted to raise Christ from the dead, according to Ephesians 1:19-20), overflowing hope is possible as we choose to trust.

I challenge you to choose hope this week. Choose to trust in the God who made you. Believe that overflowing hope is possible. Because He cares for you.

The Bible verses above are quoted from the NIV1984 translation.

Freedom Friday: Are Your Dreams Asleep?

"Once upon a time there was a funny dog named Crispin's Crispian. He was named Crispin's Crispian because - he belonged to himself."


This is the beginning of one of our favorite children's stories, Mister Dog: The Dog Who Belonged to Himself.

My husband discovered this book at the grocery store when my oldest was just a toddler. My kids loves this book. Love it. Ideally, they would like for me to read it 15 times a day.

In the book, Crispin's Crispian meets a little boy in his travels. They cook dinner together and the boy moves into Crispian's little house.

The final pages of the book describe them cleaning up after dinner and heading to bed. "He [Mr. Dog] curled up in a warm little heap and went to sleep. And he dreamed his own dreams."

I couldn't help but think of Mr. Dog as I watched Bob Hamp's "A Kingdom Parable" teaching this week. He tells the story of how a young man discovers who God created him to be (he's an acrobat). At the end of the parable, Bob describes how people react to seeing this young man's acrobatic feat.

He describes the audience as people whose hearts have gone to sleep, and are coming alive as they witness someone who is stepping into exactly who they were made to be. The people go home, and tie ropes to trees. They pick up those music lessons that have been forgotten for too long. Others simply go back to what they used to do when their dreams were still alive.

Has this ever happened to you?

Sometimes, I go to a show, I hear good music, and it inspires me to write. I've written some of my most honest and powerful songs this way. Other times, I hear an inspirational speaker talk about something that exhilarates me, and I go home and write a blog post.

I walked away from this Bob Hamp teaching and felt God put a question on my heart.

Are your dreams asleep? Is your heart asleep?

In the acrobat parable, the young man's father says to him something that struck me as a profound truth. There are some things hidden in your heart that you will never discover if you don't push yourself enough to find it.

I've written elsewhere on how to keep your dreams alive. I've also written about how God refines us and gives us the desires of our hearts. Those posts might be helpful resources.

Part of learning to walk in freedom, part of learning to become the person God created you to be is fanning those dreams that He has given you. It's infusing hope into them when there is no visible reason to hope.

"He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8 (NLT)

Ask yourself today: are my dreams asleep? What dreams are hidden in my heart, things I've seen glimpses of, but have been afraid to dig deeper and discover their fullness? Have I, or the enemy, squelched and buried the dreams and hopes God had conceived in us? Is it because they seem too big, too wild, too unrealistic?

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Do I believe that God is able? Do I believe that God is not only able, but willing? Not just willing, but that He has a deep desire to bless me and love on me and see my dreams come true?

Unlike Mr. Dog, we do not belong to ourselves. We belong to God. And we find out who we are by staring into His eyes and seeing ourselves reflected in Him. We discern who He created us to be by diving into His heart and resting in Him. We discover the power to keep our dreams alive in His presence.

Wake up your dreams today. Get out your journal and remind yourself of what they are. Position yourself in a warm little heap in God's lap and allow Him to redeposit those dreams into your heart (I envision this involving hot cocoa with marshmallows for some reason).

"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires." Psalm 37:4 (NLT)

Two resources that might be helpful in assisting you in this exercise: The Kiss of Heaven by Darlene Zschech and Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels.

Dream your own dreams, the ones God has given you. You are dear to God, and your dreams are His gift to you. Nurture those dreams as you would care for delicate gift from a dear loved one.

Freedom Friday: Focus Roles for New Year's Resolutions

I'm fully engrossed in the process of creating my focus priorities for the coming year. Let me tell you - I'm excited about 2012!

If you Google "new years resolutions" and limit the search to the last week, there are 111 million hits. 111 million! According to this article, 44% of Americans make New Year's resolutions. Depending on the source, somewhere between 80-92% of those people will fail at keeping those resolutions.

I've been doing some variation on the theme of New Year's goals, resolutions and focus roles for a decade now. One of my favorite parts of this process is looking back on prior years and seeing what I chose to focus on in the past. I don't have a typed up copy from when I began to do this (I believe it was 2002), and I haven't had a chance to dig into my journal bin to try and find it. Each year since then, I have a record of what I focused on.

I can honestly say this method of creating resolutions (I prefer to call them "roles, priorities and goals") really has made a difference.

Why does creating focus roles help?

1. Fixed target. I'm a very different person than I was a decade ago. Much of that is simply God's grace and the work He has done in my life. But another good portion involved moving toward a goal, a fixed target. I can look back on many of those focus roles and see I absolutely did grow in the areas I purposed to grow in because I kept my sights on a specific aim.

2. Focused motivation. Once I've created the focus roles, I brainstorm and come up with a statement concerning what I want to work on within that role, in addition to why I wanted to work on that role and make it a priority. This becomes my motivation for working on the roles when I'm feeling discouraged.

3. Intentional energy. Having 2-3 focus roles has allowed me to center my energy on specific areas of character growth. Once I have my focus roles, brainstormed statements and purposeful priorities, I come up with goals that are representative of these.

As I am presented with various opportunities in my life, or see things I might want to be part of, I can ask: does this line up with the roles in my life that I've chosen to work on? Will this help me achieve my goals & priorities? It also allows me to take the energy I have and be intentional as to where I will use it, rather than having my energy going in too many directions.

4. Deliberate reminder. I shared last week that I'm taking my running to the next level. When I wake up and it's 16 degrees out, I need a deliberate reminder of why I'm putting myself through this! I remember how much more at peace I feel after running, and how regular exercise is a sanity saver for me. The focus roles serve as a deliberate reminder of what I'm hoping to achieve.

You can read more about creating your own goals in last year's "Make It a Break-out Year".

I've already brainstormed my roles and picked basically 3 that I want to focus on. I'm still working on creating the specific goals I'd like to accomplish.

As I brainstormed my roles, I took some time to reflect on 2011. What kind of year was it? How had I changed? I went through my journals and gathered some highlights of the year, some Scriptures that had touched my heart, as well as some words I felt God had spoken to me. And I prayed: did God want me to incorporate any of this in my 2012 roles, priorities, and goals?

I also asked myself: what kind of year do I want 2012 to be? I asked God the same question in prayer. Then I brainstormed: what focus role would bring me closer to that goal?

Are you making New Year's resolutions? Why not try the "focus role" method this year?

What kind of year do you want this to be? More importantly, what kind of year does God want this to be?

Praying for you as you end the year and ask yourself some of these challenging questions and prepare for the new year.

Freedom Friday: Black Friday Edition

Happy Thanksgiving, Freedom Friday readers!

This is Freedom Friday, the Black Friday edition. While some are out and about, partaking in this Black Friday, by shopping till they drop, others are experiencing something quite different.

Thanksgiving, for some, was a joyous time to gather with family and friends. It was an opportunity to practice family traditions, eat lots of food, and overall rejoice at all God has given them over the past year.

For others, Thanksgiving wasn't quite so joyous.

The past year for them may have been full of growth and victory, setbacks and forward motion. They may have gone into the holiday with high hopes for health, for maintaining appropriate boundaries, for showing their family how far they have come.

Yet they walk away from that day, feeling like a failure, wondering if they've grown or changed at all.

For still others, Thanksgiving was a wake-up call, a realization that things cannot continue the way they have been. Boundaries need to be set, words need to be spoken, and possibly some relationships need to be put on pause or even severed. Just the thought is likely completely overwhelming.

All of these people are experiencing their own emotional Black Friday.

They find themselves rapidly plummeting into their default setting, experiencing despair instead of trust, falling into complete and utter hopelessness. They might struggle with turning back to old coping patterns, or even attempt to paint a prettier picture of the past than is the reality (a concept I discuss in the article "Craving Egypt").

Freedom no longer feels attainable, and we wonder if we put in all this effort for nothing.

Before you make any rash decisions, wait.

Pause. Take a breath.

There is still hope.

When we experience the petri dish that often is our family, it is normal to fall back in to old patterns of relating. We revert to the way we've always interacted because that's what we know.

Egypt was all the Israelites knew as they wandered in the wilderness. The promised land? They could only guess what that would be like. But Egypt, despite being slavery, felt familiar. Familiar was comfortable for them.

Even unhealthy patterns of relating can have their own level of comfort, even in the midst of their discomfort. That may seem odd, but this is why people generally fall into certain roles within the family. That role, healthy or unhealthy, becomes familiar. The reactions of other to that role, good or bad, is predictable. If one tries to fit into a new role, people react in new ways. Conflict creates a new type of discomfort. Thus, we often revert back to our unhealthy role with its own discomfort and chaos because at least that discomfort is predictable.

This is also why we often revert to our destructive coping mechanisms. The pain they bring is at least familiar. The pain of growth and change, as we strive to let go of those damaging patterns, is new pain.

The distress of trying to break into new patterns is also new, but necessary, pain. Just as believers need to learn to walk in freedom in our journey of faith, we also need to learn to walk in freedom in the ways we relate to our families.

What can we do to avoid another emotional Black Friday?
1. Remember what God has done. Pull out your encouragement file. Grab your journal and your Bible to recognize who He is and what He's done in your life and the lives of others.

2. Recognize what happened and still needs to happen. Ask your Source to show you with His eyes what really happened on Thanksgiving. Ask for His perspective. Was there a moment when a boundary was crossed that you should have left the room or stood up for yourself somehow? Was there a time you did stand up for yourself where you should have been silent, that the energy you used was like throwing your emotional pearls to the pigs? Did things really go as well as could be expected or hoped for, and yet it was simply your perception or expectations that were off? What boundaries need to be set and what healing needs to take place?

3. Reflect on what God can do. Look back on your stones of remembrance, the ways God has shown Himself strong and faithful in your life. Practice gratitude. Find something to give thanks for. Put your hope in Him based on His character, His love for His children, and His desire to bless you richly. He desires that you become who He created you to be even more than you do! And finally, choose to trust Him.

Even today can be turned around. Make one good choice. Choose to turn to God and not self-medication. Choose to call a friend and not isolate. Choose to share how you are feeling, out loud, to God rather than stuff it down with too much pie.

Choose freedom. My prayers are with you.

Freedom Friday: When God Isn't Showing Up

I've been working on a post on contentment for...well, months. Maybe longer. That was my plan for today. Finish it up and share it with you all.

But I just can't. I can't. My heart is heavy. A good acquaintance of mine is going through an unthinkable tragedy. After a long & excruciatingly difficult trial, the unimaginable has happened.

They did not receive the answer they were looking for. Their family is being torn apart, and the end is not in sight.

God isn't showing up as they had hoped.



This family has been on my heart since I received the news last night. Not only is my youngest sick (and he woke numerous times last night), even when I tried to sleep, I could not get this family out of my head.

I could do nothing but pray. Pray for peace. Pray for encouragement. Pray for protection.

As I ran this morning, I asked God to help me with my writing today. I was trying to wrap up the contentment post in my mind.

I just could. not. focus.

I couldn't stop thinking of my friends.

I came home, showered, and realized my youngest was awake. Again. As I laid down next to him in hopes of getting him back to sleep, I read my psalm for today on my phone.

Psalm 77
New Living Translation (NLT)

For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of Asaph.

1 I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me!
2 When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,
but my soul was not comforted.
3 I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help.
Interlude

We've all been there. When we've asked for God's help so many times that the thought of one more prayer literally has us moaning and overwhelmed. The times when comfort is nowhere to be found, and it seems even God is nowhere to be found.

The Psalmist continues:

4 You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray!
5 I think of the good old days, long since ended,
6 when my nights were filled with joyful songs.
I search my soul and ponder the difference now.
7 Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will he never again be kind to me?
8 Is his unfailing love gone forever? Have his promises permanently failed?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he slammed the door on his compassion?
Interlude

I imagine this friend of mine, thinking back to the days when her family was together and full of life and peace. What happened to those days? Where are those songs of joy? Will they ever come again? Where's God's kindness, His grace, His faithfulness? Where is His compassion and love?

Where is God? Why isn't He showing up?

10 And I said, “This is my fate;
the Most High has turned his hand against me.”

There have been times I myself have wrongly come to this conclusion.

I remember an excruciatingly challenging time about 8 years ago. My world, and my faith, had been turned upside down. I no longer knew what I believed or why. Add to that I was dealing with chronic illness, clinical depression (that could not be medicated, as the medication exacerbated my chronic illness), and my husband and I were both unemployed.

My experiences were not lining up with my theology, and it was seriously messing with me.

One example of this happened when I realized I was being overcharged for car insurance, going on 5 years. Rectifying this was not an easy process, as the reason I was overcharged in the first place was the state I received my license in and the state I lived after did not communicate with each other, and would not easily communicate with the state I currently lived in.

From my perspective, God could be helping me with this. He could be making it all happen more smoothly. Didn't He know I needed that money, and I needed it now, not whenever He decided to notice my needs and finally help me out?

I was faced with a challenge that faces all of us: if our experience does not match our theology, if our feelings do not line up with the truth of Scripture, whom or what will we trust?

The Psalmist continues:

11 But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
12 They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.

13 O God, your ways are holy.
Is there any god as mighty as you?
14 You are the God of great wonders!
You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.
15 By your strong arm, you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Interlude

Please do read the rest of the psalm here.

So what can we do when God is not showing up?

1. Ask people to pray for you. This needs to be the first step. Tell your friends what's going on, and ask them to hold out hope for you, even when you, like the Psalmist, feel as if God's promises have failed you. We need the support, both in tangible help & prayer. We need friends like the paralytic man had; he was healed because of their faith.

2. Be honest with God. Tell Him exactly how you feel, even if it isn't pretty. None of it will surprise Him. He knows your thoughts even if you don't tell Him.

3. Think about what God has done in the past. Reflect on what He has done rather than what He hasn't.

4. Ponder who God is, what you know of His character. Memorize Scriptures about His nature. Contemplate the many facets of His being, and declare them to be true. I even challenge you to try doing this out loud. Words have power.

5. Cultivate hope. I talked about hope last week, that it is a choice. It can also be learned, even in the most tragic situations.

My reimbursement check from the insurance company did show up, and it was far more than I thought it would be. It also took far longer than I wanted, but in that time, God allowed me to see that I needed to work on my relationship with Him, who I thought He was, based on my reaction (my core beliefs were that He was unkind, uncaring and unconcerned with my needs).

Jesus did not ever promise an easy life, unfortunately. He did not promise that it would even go the way we hoped. What Jesus DID promise is that His grace is sufficient, that His promises really are true, and that His purposes will prevail.

Please pray for this family, that justice would roll like a river (Amos 5:24). And if you need prayer, comment on this post, and I and others will pray for you.

Freedom Friday, Tools for the Journey: Hope

One or two mornings a week, I get up extra early to try and spend some uninterrupted time with God.

Some days, I read the Bible and pray because I've made a habit of it.

Some days, my time with God literally feels like breath and life and sustenance.

I was still reeling from some challenging events. Earlier that week, I had fought the overwhelming urge to sink into my default setting. Then my uncle, who everyone had been praying would be healed, passed away.

I knew I needed to make some carved-out time with God a priority.

After reading some Scripture, I opened a file on my phone where I keep a list of prayer requests. The first thing I read was this:

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him." Psalm 62:5

Hope. Not in people, things, or a certain outcome to prayers. But a pure hope that is only in God.

I needed to read that.

As I ponder hope, I feel I can't talk about hope without also talking about hopelessness.

As Russell Willingham said in his book Breaking Free, "Hopelessness is not only a response to traumatic losses; it can also become a habit-forming coping mechanism." Hopelessness, despair, depression are all part of my default setting.

As I wrote about a few months ago in a post on hopelessness, "If God is real, if He is who the Bible says He is, then hopelessness is not an option. If His promises are true, if He doesn't change, and never lies, then we have to reverse the pattern in our lives of getting sucked into hopelessness."

A couple of things to remember about hope:

1. Hope is a choice.
I read recently Christians need to be self-leaders in the area of hope. I agree. Hope is a choice, just like trust is a choice.

For most of my life, I based my hope solely on my experience of life. I was used to looking for hope in the things around me, clinging to my circumstances or glimmers of hope I saw in people. When I became a Christian, I needed to learn an entirely different way of living.

During this time, I clung to all Scriptures about hope. I read them, I breathed them in, I memorized them and quoted them to myself frequently.

Romans 8:24 was one of my favorites: "Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?"

I needed to learn to stop hoping in what I could see with my limited vision and perspective, and starting seeing with God's eyes.

Hope is a continuous choice for me. When I felt myself slowly sinking into that default setting earlier this week, I had to make a conscious choice to head in the other direction. I had to decide to choose God, to choose His breath and His life within me.

To choose to hope in Him.

2. Hope can't be conditional.
If my experiences tell me that it is pointless to trust God, useless to put my hope in Him, that I've tried that before and it didn't work, maybe the problem is not God. Maybe the problem is my perspective. Maybe the problem is that my hope, my trust, is conditional.

My hope in God cannot be reliant on Him answering my prayers in a certain way. I'll be honest. When my uncle died earlier this week, in addition to grief & loss, I felt frustrated, disappointed, confused. So many people were praying, and even fasting, for his healing. Why hadn't God answered those prayers?

Rather than doubt God, doubt His goodness and His faithfulness, I chose hope. And God opened my eyes to His perspective.

On the day my uncle died, I was getting my boys down for a nap in the afternoon, as I always do. I usually ask Bear, my 4 year-old, what he is thankful for and what he'd like to pray for before we go to sleep at night. We don't usually pray before nap, but we did that day. Bear prayed for the first time ever, using his own words. "God, I please pray that Uncle Greg would feel better." I found out that evening that Uncle Greg died just minutes later. I can only believe that God answered that prayer and that Uncle Greg now feels better for eternity.

3. Hope can be learned.
If hopelessness is part of your default setting, it is possible to change that. We can learn to hope.

Dive deep into hope. Ask a believer what hope looks like for them. Ask a friend to pray for you, hold out hope for you. Memorize Scriptures about hope. Read stories in the Bible about people who chose to hope in God and what that looked like. When you find yourself sinking, speak truth to yourself. Say out loud some of those hope Scriptures you have memorized.

"Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." Psalm 25:5

Pure hope is a belief, a trust only in God, that His will be done.

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him." Psalm 62:5

Please pray for my uncle's family. He left behind a wife, 2 daughters, 9 siblings including a twin sister, his parents, 20+ nieces and nephews, as well as many other friends & family who love him and are deeply feeling this loss. Thank you,

Freedom Friday: You Are God's Favorite, Part 2

Last Friday, I wrote about you being God's favorite.

I talked about John, and his description of himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. I shared that our position is the same as John's. If we are followers of Jesus, we are the beloved (favorites) of God. And how if we lived out of that truth, that we are truly God's favorite, our lives would be changed forever.

The question I left you with last week was this: do you treat yourself as if you are a cherished, precious possession of an all-powerful, all-loving God?

Did you think about that?

Next question: what does it mean to be God's Beloved?

The Greek word, Agapetos, is primarily translated "beloved" in the New Testament. It also means "esteemed, very dear, favorite, worthy of love".

Worthy of love.

This may seem random, but I encourage you to read my "What's In a Name" testimony, part 1 & part 2. In it, I talk about the names we have attached to ourselves or allowed others to attach to us throughout our lives, and how God the Father calls us worth knowing, worth loving and worth creating.

He calls you beloved.

Back to the question of the day. What does it mean to be God's Beloved?

The Greek word Agapetos, the word we translate as "beloved", was used 60 times in the New Testament. 60 times!

The first instance of use is in Matthew 3:17. "And behold, a voice out of the heavens said, 'This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.'"

Jesus was the original "beloved" child of God.

God said this to Jesus at the very beginning of His public ministry.

Jesus hadn't done anything.

He hadn't performed any miracles (this moment is not recorded in John's gospel, and turning water into wine is considered to be Jesus's first miracle), preached any sermons (unless you count his discussions in the temple at age 12). It appears He didn't even have any disciples at this point.

And yet - God was pleased with Jesus. He called Jesus "beloved".

Through Jesus, if we are followers of Him, we are also God’s beloved children.

51 of the occurrences of "Agapetos" in the New Testament are in the Epistles. It's always used when addressing the audience of the letter, or the congregations in a particular town.

A few examples:
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma." Ephesians 5:1-2

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7

"Listen, my beloved brethren : did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?" James 2:5

Different Biblical authors (Paul John, James, Jude, Peter, the author of Hebrews) remind us frequently in their letters of who we are in Christ, that we are God’s beloved. John was no exception. In fact, John liked the word so much that he used in 4 times in his last epistle, a letter that was only 15 verses long.

John and the other authors wanted to make sure we didn't forget our position as the "beloved children of God".

Being beloved means that, like John said, we are the one whom Jesus loves. It means God's very fond of us, that He not only loves us, but He actually really likes us.

Do you ever feel like God is just putting up with you because He has to?

Or do you honestly believe that God likes you, not just loves you because theologically, God has to love you?

God says through Isaiah, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! You are precious in My sight............you are honored and I love you........For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you' Says the LORD who has compassion on you."

The Hebrew word, Racham, translated "to have compassion" can also be translated "to have tender affection".

I challenge you to read through the Old Testament and replace the word "compassion" with "tender affections". Do you believe that God could have tender feelings for you?

Author Richard Foster says this about God: "His heart is the most sensitive and tender of all. No act goes unnoticed, no matter how insignificant or small. A cup of cold water is enough to put tears in the eyes of God. Like a proud mother who is thrilled to receive a bouquet of wilted dandelions from her child, so God celebrates our feeble expressions of gratitude."

Being "beloved" means we are fully accepted, fully worthy to be loved by God, we are very dear to Him, that we are in fact His "favorite". That nothing we could do could make God love us any more, and nothing we could do could make God love us any less.

Worth knowing, worth loving, worth creating.

Rest in that.

You Are God's Favorite, Part 3

Secure in His Treasure Pouch

No, it's not Friday (sorry!). I just felt like sharing something with you all today :)

Yesterday in my Bible reading, I came across this verse. This is spoken by Abigail, the wife of Nabal, a wealthy man whom David inquired of, asking for provisions. Nabal refused, and David sought to take Nabal's life. Abigail ran out to meet David & his men with provisions, to appeal to him.

Are you ready to take this in?

"Your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his treasure pouch!" 1 Samuel 25:29 (NLT)

This was spoken to David, but I believe it's true for all of us. We are secure in Christ, treasured by God, as I wrote last week, His favorite.

Something big happened today in the life of my family. It feels big to me. Thus, God's faithfulness is almost tangible, His presence felt and sensed.

God treasures you. In fact, He has declared that the lions may grow weak & hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Is there something you desire in your life, but are afraid to ask for?

Take the risk. Ask. Taste & see that the Lord is, indeed, so good.

Freedom Friday: Who Is Your Source?

I am tired.

I don't know why.

This morning, after my usual 5 AM wake-up (thanks to our wonderful dog), I did something unusual: I went back to bed.

When our dog started rising earlier & earlier, I realized after letting him out I rarely fell back to sleep. Rather than lie in bed & stare at the ceiling, I decided to go running at that early hour.

Running, rather than trying to go back to sleep, became my pattern. I've been slowly increasing my weekly mileage to the point that last week, I ran 35.5 miles & competed in a 10K on Monday.

I've gotten to the point where the benefits of running first thing were worth more than trying to go back to sleep.

That's what made this morning so unusual. I was so exhausted I let the dog out & crawled back into bed. Unfortunately for me, my 2 children did not stay asleep and after an hour, I got up & went running anyway.

I have now spent the entire day, completely exhausted. This is generally not a good set-up for writing Freedom Friday; add whiny kids to the equation (they are likely as tired as I am!), and forget it.

I needed to pause. Stop grabbing food & coffee (my go-to when completely spent). And rest in God for a minute.

I need to ask myself (yes, I ask myself these questions in 2nd person):

Who is your source?

What or who breathes life into you?

Who sustains you?

What gets you out of bed in the morning? (For me, the answer is clearly my dog!)

Who is the first person/thing you check in with in the morning? Facebook, email, the Bible?

To whom or what do you run when you are drained, wiped, out of energy, or just plain done?

We all know what the answer to these questions should be. But what is it really?

Today, I'm struggling to believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13), but in the midst of my struggle, I'm choosing to believe that it's true.

This word that is translated "strengthens" seems to imply that it's a process. It is also translated in the New Testament "grew strong" or "increased in strength".

When I started running, I would run 2 miles, max., and it would take me 24 minutes (a 12 minute mile). I ran my 10K this week in 58:10 (that's just under a 9 minute & 23 second mile, but the course was really flat). I could only do that time, and my 3 mile run of 31 minutes this morning, because my muscles have grown stronger with extended use.

Here I am, getting a congrats smooch from my grandmother-in-law!


Muscles grow through exercise. Use of muscles creates small tears. Your body reacts to this damage by repairing the muscles and growing stronger in the process.

If I keep running to other sources, those muscles will never grow, and I will never learn to respond differently.

So today, I imagine my patience & endurance muscles tearing in small ways (hence the pain & exhaustion). I picture God knitting them back together, even stronger, so that the next time I face a similar situation, I will be all that more equipped to deal with it.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Amen.