Verses 4-5:
Show me your ways, O Lord,I memorized these verses several weeks ago and have found myself endlessly repeating them. Sometimes, I simply say, "All day long, Lord, all day long."
Teach me your paths;
Guide me in your truth and teach me
For you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
I shared in my initial post that this psalm has sustained me through many challenging events. In September, we found out the cancer was now in the liver, that my father may only live 3-6 months, 6-12 if the chemo worked. We set a date to move, no matter what, whether the condo sold or not. That date was still 2 months away. I was struggling with hope.
I read Psalm 25 as I walked to the train the day after finding out the cancer had spread. It became my routine, as I grasped on to every word of that psalm as a deer pants for streams of water.
I still do.
We have since moved. My father lived less than 2 months, and in addition to career changes and location upheaval, I wrestle daily with what life should look like at age 37 with my father not here for me to call on the phone with questions, but present with the Lord. I've wondered if what I feel is grief, or am I slipping back into the depression that dominated my life for over 2 decades.
The questions that have come in this time have not been easy. Answers are coming slowly, through prayer, through clinging, through resting, through trusting.
Show me Your ways, O Lord....
Not mine, God. Yours.
Teach me Your paths
Guide me in Your truth and teach me
Let Your truth shine forth into my darkness, into the questions. Let truth be what I cling to.
For You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all. day. long.
You are Lord. I am not. Therefore, my hope is in You and You alone.
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| Morning coming slowly in our new town |
Joy comes in the morning, friends.
And in the mourning, too.
It is coming slowly. Like drips of living water.
I'm catching glimmers of hope and allowing God to teach me.
My hope is in Him, all day long.
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